Dear Gwendolyn:
Five years ago I became a medical
doctor and opened my clinic in
a small mid-western town. I was
able to secure a loan and hired the
best staff I could find.
Gwendolyn, out of eight children,
I was the only one to make a success
with my life. In the family are three
drug addicts, three alcoholics, and
one (well, I don’t know what to call
him). They are adults and have all
been married but divorced. They
now all live in the family home that was left by my parents. My
parents worked hard for their home
and wanted to pass it down to their
children.
My problem is: Every other day
for the last five years I have had to
send money for their upkeep. I pay
the fire insurance, and I pay the
taxes. This past summer, the city
gave them a citation to cut the grass
or it would be cut by the city maintenance
and a lien placed on the
house. When I got the news, I hired
a small company to cut the grass.
Out of being proud, three years ago
I told them my salary. Now they are
taking me for a bank.
-Rosalyn
Dear Rosalyn:
Your problem is experienced by
many. Often you hear of siblings all
doing well; a doctor, a lawyer, a
school teacher, an executive or an
entrepreneur. But the usual is as you
mentioned, one doing something
and the others not even making an
effort.
Let me tell you this: Stop immediately
sending money. Continue to
pay the taxes and possibly the
upkeep of maintenance. If they are
to continue living there, let them
survive on their own. Their marriages
probably failed because of
their ill-responsibility to being an
adult.
Think about it. As long as you
provide for them, they will never
provide for themselves. I don’t quite
know what you were thinking when
you told them your salary. Rosalyn,
never tell relatives your salary. And
another thing, they are not taking
you for a bank. They are taking you for a fool.
Got a problem? Write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P. O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066; e-mail her at: gwenbaines@hotmail.com; or visit her website at: www.gwenbaines.com.
______
Copyright 2008
Chicago Defender. All rights reserved. This material may not be published,
broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
