Dear Chat Daddy,
I am a 22-year-old woman who has been
with my man since we were sophomores
in high school. I love him
with all of my heart and cannot
see myself without him. Here’s
the problem: I am beginning to
notice some things that make
me a little nervous. Lately we
have been getting into many
arguments over silly things, and
once, he told me that he didn’t
need me. He has been drinking a
lot and one night it got so bad that
he jumped in my face and threatened to
knock my teeth out. I really love this man,
but he needs help. I don’t want to leave him because
I know that he is going through a lot in his life. He
has asked me to marry him and I said yes, but I just
don’t know. I remember when things were so beautiful
between us. Chat Daddy, please help because I
don’t know what to do.
-Love Is Pain
Dear Love Is Pain,
I am very happy that you reached out to me.
Thank you for your letter. However, sweetheart, you
must hurry and RUN from this situation. This has all
the makings of a domestic violence issue. You cannot
allow yourself to be disrespected in this way
because you have so much to live for and so many
dreams to make a reality. While it is understandable
that you have been with this man ever since you
were a teenager, please realize that your time, energy
and life are worth far more than allowing someone
to jump in your face as if to attack you. Trust
me, if you marry this clown it will only worsen and
the abuse will not only escalate but will eventually
destroy you. I suggest that you end the relationship
and get some help with a spiritual counselor in the
process to help you get through this.
Dear Chat Daddy,
I am a retired grandmother who has
agreed to let my 16-year-old granddaughter
live with me, due to her
mother raising five other children.
She has been with me for a year now,
and we live on the South Side.
Recently, I have been noticing money
disappearing from the household and to
my dismay because I am on a fixed
income. We are the only two in the house and
I often lay money around just because I would
hate to think that she is stealing from me, but I can
no longer ignore this issue. When I confronted her,
she became defensive and stormed out. I love her
with all my heart, but I don’t know how to deal with
this.
-You Can’t Steal From Granny
Dear You Can’t Steal From Granny,
I am sorry to hear that you are having this problem
with your granddaughter. I suggest that you, as the
head of the household, have a good, frank chat with
your granddaughter and her mother about this issue.
The three of you need to discuss this as a family in
order to come up with a solution. Simply let her
know that you cannot, and refuse, to take care of
someone who is biting the hand that is feeding her.
You and your daughter have to come up with another
arrangement to settle this. If you are willing to
forgive your granddaughter, then please be careful
and seriously think about allowing her to stay with
you. But if she has taken money from you behind
your back, it may be time for her to return to her
mother.
Be encouraged.
Art “Chat Daddy” Sims can be reached via e-mail at chatdaddy@chicagodefender.com.
______
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