Dear Gwendolyn:
One afternoon coming out of a grocery store, a
beautiful red car pulled up, stopped and the driver
asked, “Can I give you a ride?” I said, “No, I am in
my car, but it is rather far in the parking lot.” I told
him, “You can drive me to it please.”
We exchanged telephone numbers. We started dating,
and then after about six months, he told me he was
married, but that he didn’t love his wife. He told me,
“I fell in love with you at first sight.” I was bothered,
but I too felt something at first sight. Otherwise, I
never get into a stranger’s car. I thought by now he
would have divorced his wife and married me. You
see, that was eight years ago.
My question is why would his wife allow him to
pretend that he loves her? She has to know he doesn’t.
The feelings he has for me must show when he is
around her.
-Mary
Dear Mary:
Give some real serious thought to your love life.
Don’t be so quick to think that you come before the
wife. It is true, however, that often a man does not
love his wife but cares deeply for the mistress.
There is an issue you are overlooking. It is difficult
for a man to pretend with his wife. Think about it. She
lives with him. Therefore, she knows him. She sees
his good days and bad days. However, when he
comes to you, he will only come when he is in the
best of moods. A man will leave his wife but will
never leave his friend.
Mary, get out of this relationship no matter how
much it hurts. For eight years he has not been pretending
to his wife. The pretense has been to you.
Write to Gwendolyn Baines at: gwenbaines@hotmail. com or to: P. O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066.
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